The ॐ “Aum” in Trauma: Where is the Gift in …? 

How often do you go through some “stuff” and wonder why? You hurt emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, any-ly ~ and before you can even allow yourself to accept that this happened to you, the question keeps popping up over and over again: why this? why me?

It’s a good question. GREAT question actually.

Most people make one big mistake with that question.

They stop.
They stop at the question and close the door, locking themselves in a room with their defeat and the inevitability of arbitrary bad luck.

What if I could guarantee you the answer? Or rather, not I, but what if life will answer, guaranteed, if you just give it…… time?

Sometimes it takes only hours, sometimes years, often somewhere inbetween – but each transition, whether forced or voluntary, bears a gift.

How about not stopping with the question. I want to invite you to stay open to finding it. Your choice.

I have shared the story of my own recent, and forced, transition in videos over the past six months. I realized something along the way, already a while back, but I was in denial about it.

Today, I have the courage to share. It’s lengthy, but it’s honest. I share, because it proves that the gift is there. The ॐ = the “aum” in trauma.  I expect to see more blessings as I continue to move forward and grow.

I’d love to hear from you, especially if you are or have been in similar phases of change. Forced, voluntary, expected, unexpected. I’d love to learn about your gift. And if you are still stuck at “why” – let me know if you’d like help with that.

 

By on | Transitions | 0 Comments [Read More]

Some Days

Balance

Some days, balance eludes us.

Some days, our hearts and souls are so heavy, that it takes something extraordinary to give us peace. Sometimes, our hearts and souls are so ecstatic, that it takes something extraordinary to calm them.

The aurora does this for me.

Dance

Looking up in the darkest night, I see this ever so faint, diffuse glow. Initially, it might be impossible to discern whether it is a thin veil of clouds, or the beginning of the electrons’ dance. If the glow moves in waves, comes and goes, I usually stay looking up, regardless how tired my neck gets, because it is just too magical to look away.

As my eyes follow the light, curtains may form, or arcs, as if an invisible horse in the sky swishes its tail to swat away stars – are they poking its butt? I de-light in the celestial show, and my thoughts turn humorous, and creative. The crisp air that comes with auroral nights in boreal forests clears my mind and nourishes my lungs. Taking in night air energizes me, and I dare not move my gaze in the arctic stillness.

This intent focus always brings about a grounding, a genuine balancing of the heart. For a moment, whatever was too much, too heavy, too happy, too painful, too light is forgotten. In its place is nothing but awe and wonder, and with each curtain waving across the firmament my neurotransmitters jump with joy and connect happy neurons.

Peace

Of course I know very little about the brain and how all this powerful chemistry works, but I tell you what: watching polar lights brush paint across the arctic night sky is a sight to see, and it will have you oo-ing and ah-ing and getting all excited and sparkly like your mom’s christmas tree. No matter how tired I am when I catch my first glimpse, I usually am wide awake by the time I set up the camera and grab my down coat and sorrels, and when I have enough pictures and go back inside, I feel relaxed and peaceful, and sleep comes easy.

So yes.

Some days, our hearts and souls are so heavy, that it takes something extraordinary to give us peace. Sometimes, our hearts and souls are so ecstatic, that it takes something extraordinary to calm them.

Maybe it is a sunset, or a sunrise, that can do it for you. A thunderstorm with a vibrant rainbow. The first snow, or autumn rain. Nature provides so much for our spirit and soul.

The aurora does it for me.  And while it neither takes away the sadness nor the ecstasy, it levels both to a bearable, healthier degree.
I know that you, too, will find your aurora. Maybe you are going through some heart-heavy times right now. I wish that you find your Northern Lights. That you sleep with more hope, knowing that the day will return when you, too, believe again that the Universe has your back.

If you could use someone who will listen without judgment, maybe to share some tools that will help you move forward, use the contact form or email me at ki@thekiline.com to schedule a free call to assess what you need and what I can provide.

By on | Alaska, Human Nature | 0 Comments [Read More]

have a love affair with something every day.

love life on buffalo beaches

{3 minute read}

i try to fall in love with something every day.

for me, this summer, it has been western new york.
buffalo turned buffalove.
niagara falls, new york.
old world. new england. how dare they.
this world is new, falls, rising.

it is not the beef on weck, or sponge candy. i can easily live without both, but i love that these two things are so unique to here, to this place, where old and broken doesn’t mean discarded.

no.

old and broken is just waiting for the right moment. we will be rescued, is what these buildings say, we will be found, and our treasure will be seen.

and that is something my heart in-joy-s.

i am falling in love with something buffalove and niagara usa
every day.

lovely lake erie beaches. bennett. woodlawn. gallagher. evangola.

silos. once wrapped in blue green purple light, with paper windmills projected on their western end, they are bearers of hope, of vision, of a colorful future where everything is possible.

water, especially as it falls.
glen park in williamsville. the eternal flame near orchard park.
and of course, our falls. those powerful, majestic niagara falls.
american, bridal veil, horseshoe.
there is a time and place for modesty.
this here is not it.
i caution you, reveler, reader, worshipper. respect the water, respect gravity.

these falls, like nature, always, are unforgiving. that is their power, that is their beauty.

last week, i fell in love with stories of haunts. i used to discard them, but today, i relish their layers, and the dreams they hide.

on sunday, i madly loved the heat. it was easy – i was working, and had aircondition. and it reminded me of all my alaskan summers that barely made it above 62 degrees fahrenheit. so i fiercely loved me that sticky humid heat in elmwood village.

and almost every other day, i swear, i fall in love with a gesture, a smile, a voice, a character, an idiosyncrasy of niagara, of elmwood or buffalo or hydro-electric science or crazy cool art such as elevated beadwork.

i can fall in love with the way the sun hits the blinds and paints my room golden. the way the clouds obscure the sun at 8:22pm and paint the sky orange. the way the light hits the mist on luna island and conjures up fat vibrant rainbows, thick enough to sit on and let your legs dangle off.

the way the people around me are brave. like super brave. rappelling off the seneca casino brave. rolling down the falls in a barrel brave. balancing on a tightrope across the falls brave. starting fresh after losing everything brave. forgiving even the biggest jerk type of brave. putting dreams on hold so that babies have happy childhoods type of brave. loving after a broken heart kind of brave.

western new york is full of people like that. my family is full of people like that. my soul family: you are all people like that.

so no wonder i fall in love every day.

i challenge you, and i invite you, just for one week:

fall in love with something every day

By on | Human Nature, Joy | 0 Comments [Read More]